


Crawl

by AriaNoct



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: AfterAltissia, Angst, Blind!Ignis, Death, Ihatethisthingsomuch, Reader-Insert, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 17:27:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14598036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AriaNoct/pseuds/AriaNoct
Summary: How would Ignis react to your death?





	Crawl

**Author's Note:**

> I hate this thing so much but honestly I still wanted to post it. Depending on the reaction this gets I might do this for the other chocobros. I'm still working on Into Hell, but it's driving me insane because I have so many ideas from it and I think I need to take it down and edit it before re-posting it. On top of that I'm trying to get through health assessment, which is honestly full of NCLEX (the nursing licensing exam) questions and I am not ready! *Cue cheers*  
> The song is one of my favorites and it kind of reminds me of Ignis so I wanted to use it. It's 'Crawl" by Breaking Benjamin so if you're into that kind of music look it up!

_A shadow of a man_

_I am nothing less_

_I am holding on, still holding on_

_And every now and then_

_Life begins again_

_I am holding on, still holding on_

            Altissia was done. Blinded as he was, Ignis knew that much at least. The things he didn’t know were the things that kept him awake at night. He didn’t know if and when Noctis would awake. He didn’t yet know how he would continue on the journey with his king, just that he somehow would. He didn’t know when he would stop waking in the middle of every night, screaming and clawing at his aching, bleeding eyes. He didn’t know if his blasphemy had condemned him to feel this pain ever so keenly for the rest of his life, the nature of his curse still new and unfamiliar to him. Beyond all of that, he didn’t know where you were.

            Nobody heard from you again after you set off on your own to assist in the evacuation efforts. The last moment he had with you, a Niflheim missile destroyed the bridge that the four of you had been crossing. You were on one side, Gladio and Prompto were on the other, and Ignis had been cast off into the water. From there he had hoped to reconvene with you, but you never reappeared. You had been so close to where he exited the water, and you had agreed that you would meet him there, shouting down at him from the destroyed bridge. He thought that you would be heading to the altar with him to assist Noct. Between the bridge and there, you disappeared. Two days had passed and still you had not made contact with anyone in the retinue.

            He knew, _he knew,_ that the likelihood of your still being alive was slim to none by this point. Left alone in his darkness, all he could picture was your body floating underneath the waves with all of the debris that had been Altissia. Sometimes he pictured you bound and gagged in a Gralian dungeon as a prisoner of war, it made no difference either way because _it was just so very, very dark from where he sat and he couldn’t reach you._ Even if he’d wanted to assist in a search for your body, he was blind and there were _so many bodies to be found._  He wouldn’t recognize you even if he found you. So there he sat, quiet and mournful by the bedside of his king, praying to the six for a miracle to find him.

            He was so caught up in his mourning that he barely registered the sound of the hotel room door opening and shutting.

A familiar voice dragged him out of his thoughts, “Hey Iggy, you got a sec?”

            Ignis sighed as though the weight of the world were falling firmly onto his shoulders, “Yes Prompto, how may I be of assistance?”

            He heard an odd shuffle, as though his company were unsure of what to do with themselves. Footsteps padded away from him, and then a chair was dragged across the floor in his direction, the soft sound of someone taking a seat on the padding of the chair registered. Ignis picked up on the sound of nails scratching against wood, as though Prompto were nervous. The thought that his new deformity was what was making his friend feel ill-at-ease swept through his brain. Ignis couldn’t know for sure what he must look like, but he could feel the ragged shape of his raised skin where he had burned. He felt the dry, stabbing pain in his eyes when they were open and believed without a doubt that he must be a fright to behold.

            _“I must look so monstrous to them all now,”_ Ignis mused to himself.

             Uncomfortable seconds stretched on in silence as the blue-eyed boy searched for the right words to use. The tactician couldn’t see the way Prompto bit his lip and held back tears, nor the tell-tale redness of his nose and eyes. If Ignis heard the barely contained sniffles that issued forth from the gunman then he chose to ignore it.

             Prompto chose to look solely at Noct’s unconscious form as he delivered his next statement, “They found her today,” Ignis immediately stood up from his seat by the bed and opened his mouth to ask a thousand questions, but Prompto continued on as though he were unaware of the interruption, “She was…buried. Underneath the rubble.”

             Prompto didn’t tell Ignis about the way the collapsed building had held your head just below the surface of the water before you died. He didn’t tell him about the way your fingers had all been broken, or about all of the dark implications that held. Gladio had been the one to find you and identify your body, and he was also the one to burn it. Between the city existing on the sea and the sheer number of casualties that had to be dealt with, a burial hadn’t been an option. Gladio and Prompto both silently agreed as they watched you burn, it was a hidden blessing that Ignis would never have to see and remember you as a being broken.

             “I…I see. If that’s all, then would you mind taking over here for the time being? Best if Noctis is not alone when he wakes up,” Ignis shakenly walked out the room as quickly and quietly as he could without waiting for a response, unable to withstand any more conversation.

              The gunman let him go, eyes still focused on Noctis. He knew nobody was going to see Iggy again for the rest of the night, maybe not even the next. You had been at Ignis' side from the time that you were both young teenagers. Full of life and rebellion, you had always been the one to pull Ignis out of his shell and allow him to exist outside of his duties. Still, the first time Ignis told you he loved you, you had just successfully convinced the prince to try artichoke for the advisers birthday. After everything his friend had lost, Prompto understood and stayed quiet. Now wasn't the time.

              Using one hand to feel along the wall, Ignis slowly made his way to his own room down the hall. A forgotten can of ebony lay empty and forgotten underneath the sofa, the evidence of an attempt to clean the spill could be found around it. Curtains had been drawn tight over the windows. Papers from a slim black notebook lay shredded around the room, as though the owner had ripped the thing to pieces in a moment of frustration. The bed itself was neatly made. A new walking stick had been left for him on the coffee table, not to be noticed until the day the group would leave Accordo.

              With the door finally closed, Ignis collapsed against it. Tears leaked from his right eye while the left burned, a phantom mimic of the moment he lost his sight. A dejected sob ripped through his throat and you were gone. _Gone!_ As much as he had told himself not to hope for anything, that you were gone or else you would have found a way back to him by now, the loss still brought him to his knees. His fiancé, his love was _gone._ And so he was left alone in the dark.

_Show me where it hurts_

_And I will make it worse_

_Are you holding on?_

_Keep holding on_

_Dilated eyes_

_Shine for one last time_

_Are you holding on?_

_Keep holding on_


End file.
